Faith for the Future
by ATTHS
Summary: Mulder wakens in the night to the sound of Faith crying. He goes to her room and rocks her, gaining an idea that he will implement for Faith; for her future.
1. You Are Not Alone

Mulder startled awake, Faith's sharp cries sounding from the other room. He felt Scully stir beside him, groaning as she stretched. Her feet brushed against his shins, and he smiled.

"I got her, Scully," he said, turning toward her, and nuzzling into her neck. "You sleep." He kissed her on her head, before pulling back from her, and rising from the bed. He shivered as he pulled on a sweatshirt, stopping to kiss her cheek.

"Thank you, Mulder," she breathed, burying deeper into her pillow. He smiled and left the room, heading to see what the fuss was about.

Pushing Faith's door all the way open, he walked over to her crib and looked down at her. "Hey now, none of that," he said quietly, reaching to touch her chest. As soon as she felt his touch, and heard his voice, she quieted. "What is it, my love? Are you hungry? I don't think so, so let's see what's going on."

Picking her up, he held her close and kissed her soft cheeks. Breathing in her baby smell, he smiled and hummed to her, as he began to rock her slowly. Her cries subsided, as she yawned and sighed.

"So what is it, my girl? Did you just need to know you weren't all alone in the world? Needed to feel safe?" He moved her to his shoulder, rubbing her back, and patting her diapered bottom. "You ever feel that way, that you need to feel loved, to know you're not alone in this big big world, you give a shout like you just did, and I'll come running. Every time. Deal?" She sighed again and he smiled.

Walking with her for a couple of minutes, he could smell she needed a fresh diaper. Laying her on the changing table, he undressed her and changed her diaper. He kissed her warm belly and she grabbed at his hair. Laughing softly, he moved her fingers and redressed her. Lifting her, he kissed her cheeks again, marveling for the millionth time, in the past five months, at how beautiful she was, how perfect.

"So, little one," he said, turning to walk over to the rocking chair, grabbing a blanket on the way. "I don't think you're hungry. Mama fed you just a couple of hours ago. Maybe you just need a little cuddle? And perhaps a story?" Sitting down in the rocker, he put her on his chest and covered her with the blanket. He began to rock and she settled into him.

"Let's see now, where did we leave off? I've told you about Puerto Rico, the Flukeman, and how terrible it smelled down in that water. It was truly awful, my girl. I've told you about Darren Peter Oswald and how horrible he was as a person, aside from his powers. You need to stay away from boys like him. Shifty and troubled," he said, rubbing her back and listening to her breathing.

"Oh, I've got it, baby girl. One I can't believe I haven't told you of yet, considering it's the beginning. But, I suppose it fits with how all stories seem to go, the origin one coming later, instead of first. Let's settle in, little one, this is a good one," he said softly, kissing her head. Taking a breath, he closed his eyes, remembering back so long ago, when he first met Scully.

"Years ago, Daddy was working for the FBI. I was working in a different department before I found the one that fit for me. Mama was there too, but I hadn't met her yet. One day, I was told I was getting a new partner and I was not happy about it. Partners always slowed Daddy down, with their silly questions, and inability to follow what was happening. I wasn't looking forward to having a new person who would poke about and get in my way," he said, thinking of how he felt when he was informed about a new partner. He smiled at how stupid he had been.

"I was told I was being paired with your Mama, so I checked into her background. Well, my love, I can't tell you the surprise I felt when I read your Mama's words in her thesis statement. She was smart, Faith, truly so smart. I was intrigued, but … still not happy to have a partner," he paused and listened, moving her a bit, finding her eyes still open. He smiled and took it as a sign she was enjoying the story.

"When my office door opened and I saw her, well, I was at a loss for words. She was so beautiful. So young too …" he paused as he visualized it. Smiling again, before continuing. "She walked right up to me and shook my hand. Cool as could be, while I fought to keep mine. Faith, as much as I tried to deny it, I started to fall love with her the second she smiled at me." He thought of decades of Scully's smiles- happy, sad, annoyed, joking, every one of them were beautiful.

"I've told you the story of Evaline. Who she was and how your Grandma and Auntie repeatedly drew her pictures. They are hanging on your wall in here, and one day you will see in them what I see: your Warrior Mama. A woman destined to find your Daddy, so she could save his sorry ass over and over. Whoops, I mean butt." He laughed softly and she whined. Patting her, he rocked in silence for a minute.

"Well, after our first meeting, we set off for our first case, and your Mama was wonderful in the field. She was inquisitive, engaging, and didn't put up with any of my bullsh- … nonsense. She kept me on my toes, letting me loose and then pulling me back when I had drifted too far. It was her first introduction into an extraterrestrial case and while she didn't believe in it, she listened and didn't laugh, not too hard anyway, and she was eager to find closure for the people affected." He paused, remembering her trying to stop Teresa's bloody nose, the look on her face when she realized Billy had indeed been out of his bed, and her raised voice telling him it was crazy that this was happening.

"Your Mama," he said, shaking his head slightly. "She was sent to shut me down, my love. Our superiors didn't like your Daddy much. No, I was an annoyance they wanted to be rid of, and they had sent your Mama to do it. They underestimated her though, and her ability to see the good in someone, to see their worth, and stick with them. Even if she didn't always agree or believe in the same things I did, she respected the journey. She was there because she believed in me and saw my worth. For that, my sweet, we both have her to thank for our existence."

He closed his eyes again and rocked in silence, an idea forming as he held his girl, the world dark and quiet around them. Shifting her to lay in his arms, he watched her sleep, her cheeks rosy and mouth open. He looked at her chest rising and falling and shook his head. So much beauty in such a small package.

Standing up, he carefully laid her down in her crib, watching her settle into sleep. He covered her with her light blanket and headed back to bed, closing her door halfway.

He walked back to their bedroom, pulled the covers back, and laid down beside Scully. She turned over and snuggled into him, her head on his shoulder, an arm wrapping around his middle. He kissed her head as she sighed, and pulled him closer.

"She's okay?" she asked breathily. "She didn't need to eat?"

"No, she was okay," he said, running his fingers up and down her arm laying on his stomach. "Think she just needed to know she wasn't alone in that big room and wanted some extra snuggle time."

"Hmm, a girl after my own heart," she said sleepily, snuggling closer to him. "She's a smart girl. Already has you wrapped around that little finger of hers."

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her. "As if any other outcome would have been possible." She laughed softly, and within minutes was sleeping once again, her breathing slow and steady.

He lay there, his mind racing with plans. Smiling at the idea he was secretly formulating, he held her closer and joined her in slumber.


	2. The Evolving Yoga Baby

Hearing the car door slam shut, Mulder quickly shut down his computer and moved to the couch, turning on the television. He could hear Scully talking to Faith outside as she walked up the steps, then her soft laughter as Faith sneezed.

The door opened, and she looked over at him with a sigh. "That bad?" he asked her with a smile.

"No, it wasn't that bad," she said, closing the door and coming over, handing the baby to him. He smiled at Faith, and she smiled back, arching her back before he laid her on his knees.

Scully took off her coat and shoes, and sat down beside him on the couch. Putting her head on his shoulder, she sighed, her hand touching Faith's head.

"Tell me," he said, causing her to sigh again and then groan.

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, it was a group of women and their babies, but it was nice and comfortable. I know I kept scoffing and rolling my eyes at the thought of a baby yoga class, but I'm glad I went," she said with another sigh.

"So … what I'm hearing is that I was right," he said, with a little push against her. She exhaled a laugh and then sighed. "Tell me," he said again, knowing there was more.

"Mulder," she sighed and got off the couch, pacing around the living room. He watched her, her hands on her hips and her head back. Saying nothing, he continued watching her, ready to hear what she had to say.

Stopping in the center of the room, she looked at him. "I was the oldest mom there," she said, looking at him with an unreadable expression. He tried not to smile, but she saw it and threw her arms up in the air, pacing once again.

"Scully," he said in a be sensible tone.

"I know!" she said, stopping her pacing and looking at him again. "They were all so lovely and kind, and I feel bad that I prejudged them, but I was still the oldest one there. Well, the oldest mom." She sighed at him, and he smiled again.

"Get over here," he said, gesturing with his head to come and sit beside him. She sighed but did as he asked, again putting her head on his shoulder.

"They were very kind and extremely supportive," she said softly. "It was my own insecurities and preconceived notions that made me think it would be bad and that they would judge me."

"Mmm-hmmm," he said, knowing how she had felt about going to the class, remembering the eye rolling and scoffing of the need to take a five-month-old baby to a yoga class.

"I was still the oldest mother there. There was one older woman, a grandmother, bringing her grandson. She wasn't much older than me," she said quietly.

"And? What of it?" he asked, anger rising a little at her worry of being older. "Scully, yeah maybe you're not as young as those mothers, but who cares? Does it make you less than? No, it doesn't. Did they make you feel that way for any reason?"

"No, not once," she said, sighing. "Mulder, you don't have to point out that they didn't, I know they didn't, but it's my thoughts. We are older. We are. That is a truth we cannot escape, nor deny. When Faith graduates from high school, we will be in our 70's. 70's, Mulder."

"And looking badass and hot as hell," he said, making her laugh. He sighed and looked down at Faith, sucking on her fist, her eyes closing sleepily.

"We will still look older than most, Mulder," she said softly, her words veiled, but he understood where her thoughts were heading.

"Scully," he said quietly, shaking his head. "I understand how you feel, I do. But, the fact that you are 55, and look the way you do … I'm not worried about the future." She sighed and he bumped her softly again.

"Scully, you are so beautiful. Just as much today, as you were when I first met you. You have lines on your face, yes, and so do I. Those lines show the life we've lived. The laughter, worry, happiness, and sadness. I don't begrudge one of mine, and I hope you don't yours, because they make you exceedingly beautiful." She sighed and looped her arm through his.

"Only you could say I have an old, lined face, and make me feel horny," she said, and he breathed out a laugh. She put her hand on his thigh, and he exhaled.

"Well, I hope it is only me making you feel horny," he said, covering her hand and lacing her fingers with his.

"Well, there's Idris Elba. But you already knew that," she said, and he scoffed. She laughed softly, and he shook his head as she squeezed his hand. "Just you, Mulder. Just you make me feel the way I do."

"And I always will. Even when I am pushing your wheelchair, while Faith pushes mine in her cap and gown, valedictorian and queen of the universe, as she graduates from college," he said and she laughed heartily but quietly, sitting up and looking at him.

"Shut up," she said, shaking her head, and smiling at him. He grinned at her and winked. She leaned forward and kissed him, her tongue lightly grazing his, sucking on his bottom lip as she leaned back. He groaned, and she laughed.

"I'm going to lay her down and then start some lunch. I'm starving," she said, standing up and taking Faith, rocking her close. She headed for the stairs, and he watched her walk away, her yoga clothes not helping him forget that kiss and move onto a new task.

"Stop staring at my ass," she said, looking back at him as she started up the steps.

"Not a chance," he said, getting off the couch, and heading to the kitchen. Her soft laughter made him smile, as he started getting things out for lunch.

She came back downstairs and ran her hand down his back as she stepped beside him, helping him with preparations for lunch. He made them sandwiches, and she cut up some vegetables. Pouring some water in glasses, he set them on the table, and then grabbed their plates, setting them down. He sat down as she set the bowl of vegetables next to him. He made a face, and she raised her eyebrows at him, making him nod.

She sat next to him and started eating her sandwich, both of them quiet as they ate. He could feel there was something she was not telling him, something that happened at the baby yoga place. Not anything bad, that he knew, but something had transpired, and he would need to wait for her to tell him.

He ate more vegetables than usual, and for that, he earned a smirk. She drank her water and stood up for more, her hand trailing across his shoulders, her nails scraping at his neck. He shuddered and shook his head.

"Woman, you need to stop doing that, unless you plan on taking it further and forgoing any more food," he said, catching her hand and rubbing her fingers. She smiled and pulled her hand free, refilling her glass, and sitting back down.

"Later," she said with a wink, her glass at her lips, drinking the water, before slowly licking her lips, watching his eyes.

"A goddamn tease," he murmured, and she laughed.

They finished their food and cleaned up the mess. He washed the dishes, as she dried and put them away. He could feel her repeated glances at him, and he patiently waited for to open her mouth and speak. Turning around, he leaned against the sink, watching her. She caught his eye and he smiled. Sighing, she reached for his hand, threading her fingers with his.

"Tell me," he said quietly, thinking third time could be the charm. He tugged her toward him, pulling her to his chest, letting go of her hand, and wrapping his arms around her.

"It's silly," she said, her voice muffled, as her face was buried in his chest.

"It's not. Not if it's bothering you," he said, rubbing her back.

"Not bothering exactly, but …" she leaned back and looked at him, her arms around his waist, his hands going to her neck, his thumbs stroking softly. She closed her eyes and took a breath. "One of the women in the class came up to me before we left and said that Faith was beautiful. She has a daughter about the same age, and she is also a beautiful little girl. The mother, Roxie, started crying when she looked at me. I was stunned and couldn't figure out why she was so upset. She apologized and said she hoped she wouldn't offend me, but she was so happy to see someone older with a baby. We had all been discussing pregnancy earlier- cravings, heartburn, sex, and she was laughing with us, but kept glancing at me. She said when she heard I had been pregnant with Faith, not adopted her, it made her want to weep." She put her face back on Mulder's chest, and he could feel her body shaking, knowing she was crying. He waited, and finally she raised her head, and he wiped her eyes.

"She said she is 41, and she and her husband had been trying for a baby for years. They went through rounds of IVF, went into debt to do it, and it never worked. They tried naturally again after that and still nothing happened, so they turned to adoption. She said they filled everything out, had the money to do it, and she started feeling sick. Faint, sick, tired all the time," she smiled at him, and he smiled back. "She was sure it was something horrible. Cancer ran in her family, and she just wanted to get the adoption paperwork started before going to the doctor. Have a clean bill of health before they might hear another person telling them no. They were on their way to take their paperwork in, when she started feeling violently ill. Her husband drove them to the hospital instead, and they were told she was not sick, but already starting her second trimester." Mulder shook his head and smiled, happy for the happy story. Scully smiled too, tears in her eyes.

"It had a happy ending, but I remembered how I felt during the IVF procedure, Mulder. The sense of hopefulness, praying for it to happen, and then learning it had failed. I felt it with her when she told me her story," she said, her chin quivering. "She was crying and I tried not to. It wasn't about me, but I cried with her. I told her that we had tried long ago, it didn't work, and I understood exactly how she felt. She cried harder and then we were hugging." Her tears spilled over, and she put her head on his chest. He held her and let her cry, smiling when he thought he may have realized what could be bothering her.

"Was that it? The emotional aspect of it?" he asked quietly, and she nodded her head. He smiled and held her tighter. She stood there for a minute, before pulling back from him.

"Mulder," she said, wiping her eyes. "This is new for me. This, seeking out other women for friendship. It's weird. I haven't had a girlfriend in ages. I can't even remember the last person I was overly friendly with or wanted to spend time with, besides you. I was in a room with twelve other women today and every one of them cried at some point. I cried, Mulder. One girl cried the entire time. She's young, early twenties, her husband is gone overseas for six months in the military, and this is her first baby. She's worried she's failing, worried for her husband, and all on her own. I listened to her and all I could think of was my mother, alone for months at a time when we were little, and there were four of us. I cried thinking of her, and what she may have gone through, being alone and lonely. How did she do it? We have each other, Mulder. I couldn't imagine not having you with me for months at a time. Not again." She stared at him, and he pulled her close, wrapping his arms tight around her.

They stood in silence, her tears still falling as he held her. "Scully, our lives are going to be different now. That little girl upstairs … she's already changed us," he whispered. "She's going to need friends and playmates, forcing us to make friends too. That's a good thing, Scully. Jesus, we were like two hermits out here before, well me more than you, but we have to change that now. I know it's going to be hard, years of constant suspicion regarding others will do that to a person, but it will also be good." He pulled back from her and held her face in his hands, smiling at her, before kissing her lightly on the lips.

"I'm sorry you were upset and out of your element today," he said, his forehead resting against hers.

"Well, I'm either a glutton for punishment, or it wasn't as bad as I imagined, because I signed up for a month long class before I left," she said, pulling back and shaking her head at him. "Twice a week, an hour and a half each time, for a month. What the hell am I doing?" He grinned at her before he laughed, pushing away from the counter, and dancing with her around the kitchen. She laughed and held on as he twirled them around.

"As a scientist, I would think you would recognize evolution when you see it," he said, spinning her around and then back to him. "All the most advanced creatures are able to evolve."

"Shut up," she said, pushing on his chest, before he wrapped his arms around her, and danced slower, his forehead resting on hers again.

"We evolve, Scully. Evolve and adapt to the changing world around us. We've been pretty good at it so far. I think we will be aces at it this time," he said, serious now, wanting her to know he meant what he said.

She nodded against his forehead, her arms going around his neck. She kissed him softly, before it quickly escalated. He had his hands on her ass, her tongue in his mouth, and her nails digging into his scalp, when he heard the baby cry.

They broke apart and froze, each breathing hard, seeing if they would hear another cry. When none came, she pushed him to the couch, landing in his lap, kissing him again. His hands went up the back of her shirt, his fingers gliding across her soft skin. She pulled back from him and took off her shirt, throwing it behind her. His hands went to her breasts immediately, the sheer size of them pulling him closer, their own gravitational pull that could not be ignored. He left her bra on, knowing sometimes her breasts were sensitive between feedings.

Unable to resist completely, he squeezed them gently. She moaned and her nails dug into his shoulders. "God, Mulder," she breathed. He leaned forward and kissed between her breasts, licking up her neck to her lips, kissing her, and making her moan again.

She pulled at his shirt, and he broke from the kiss, to slide it up and off his body, tossing it wherever. She laughed, took his face in her hands, and kissed him as she ground into him. It was his turn to moan as he grew harder at the feel of her. Her hands were at his waistband, and he helped her unbutton them.

She got off his lap to pull her pants and underwear off, but she was having some trouble in her state of urgency. She tugged at them, but they were tight and uncooperative. He watched her and heard her huff of annoyance. Forgetting his own pants for a second, he laughed and helped her pull hers down and off. Running his hands up her legs, he pulled close to him, kissing her hip bones, moving closer to her center.

She tugged on his hair, and he looked up at her. "We have a baby upstairs about to wake up from a nap, we're on a time crunch. Focus," she said, giving him a look. He laughed and pulled back, reaching for his waistband.

He got his pants open, pulling them down along with his underwear, far enough, but not all the way off. Looking back up at her, she nodded, climbing back on the couch and straddling his thighs. She took him in her hand and started stroking, making him breath hard as he watched her hand move the way he had showed her he liked to be touched. It felt wonderful, but she was right, they needed to focus.

"Scully," he groaned, his head falling back as she squeezed him. He lifted his head when she let go and he felt her move.

She lifted up further, lining them up together, and then sank down onto him. Both of them exhaled and then held their breath. She bottomed out and began lifting up and then down, slowly, moaning and holding onto his neck for support. He put his hands on her waist and helped to guide her. She started to go faster, and they both moaned again.

"God, Mulder," she said again, breathing hard. "I'm so close already. Thank you, Idris." His head snapped up and he caught the fire in her eyes. Oh, hell no, he thought, grabbing her waist and moving them, so he was on top of her.

She looked at him with laughter in her eyes, but when he started thrusting harder, she could not keep her eyes open. He watched them roll back in her head, and heard his name on her lips. She was repeating his name, and he knew that meant she was close.

He went faster, feeling his own release not far off, but needing her to come first. "Scully, I'm close. Oh Jesus, you feel so good."

"Yes, Mulder. Faster. Harder."

He did as told, and he felt her tighten around him as she fell over the edge, calling out his name. Her release signaled his own and he spilled inside her, her name falling from his lips. She wrapped her legs around him as he fell onto her, exhausted and spent.

She ran her fingers up and down his back as they tried to catch her breath, hearts pounding hard.

"Mmm. Mmm," she kept moaning in his ear, her body still quaking around him. "God, Mulder. So good. Mmm."

He chuckled into her neck before raising his head. "Better than Idris Elba, that's for fucking sure." She laughed, pulling him down for a kiss.

"Since I've not had the pleasure, I'll have to agree," she said against his lips, making them both laugh, before she kissed him again. "Even if I had the chance, Mulder, he wouldn't stand a chance. No chance at all." She said, staring in his eyes, as she held his face in her hands, and he smiled.

"No sugar, Sherlock," he said smugly as Faith cried again, a cry they knew would ramp up and not stop until she was picked up.

Kissing Scully once more, slowly and sensually, making her breath catch, he pulled back and off of her. Looking at her half naked on the couch, her body flushed, he thought she had never been more beautiful. His wild woman, always keeping him guessing.

He pulled up his pants and buttoned them, went to the sink and washed his hands, splashed some water on his face, and turned to head upstairs. He saw Scully laying in the same exact position and he laughed.

She looked over and raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't get up, Scully. I'll get her," he said teasingly.

"It's not that I don't want to, Mulder. I physically can't. So, go ahead and strut about like a peacock," she said closing her eyes.

He smiled, feeling pretty good about himself. He walked over to her and kissed her softly, her hands landing in his hair. "See? How's that for old?" he whispered against her lips. She chuckled and gave him a push.

Starting up the stairs, the cries becoming louder, he turned around. "Oh. That woman. The young mother at class today …"

"Already invited her to dinner on Thursday," she said tiredly. He smiled and headed back up the stairs. Of course she had invited her over. That was so Scully.

"My baby girl," he said, as he entered Faith's room. "Thank you for sleeping long enough for your Daddy to have his way with your Mama. It was much appreciated."

"FOX MULDER!" Scully's voice yelled up the stairs.

He chuckled and reached for Faith, her tears stopping as soon as she saw him, replaced with a smile that could light up a room.

"Oh, little girl, the world is not going to be ready for you," he said as he lifted her up, staring in her blue eyes, as she smiled once again.

"Nope. Not ready at all."


	3. Journaling the Heart

Mulder waited until he knew Scully was asleep before he slowly got out of bed. He watched her sleeping for a few seconds and then stepped out the door and walked to Faith's room. He looked in on her sleeping, watching her tiny chest rising and falling. Smiling at her, he shook his head before heading to the stairs.

He looked at the rooms that held the women he loved most in the world and smiled again before walking quietly down the stairs, avoiding the creaky step so that he would not wake Scully.

Once at the bottom of the stairs, he slipped on the slippers Mrs. Scully had given him years ago. They were wearing down a bit, but he would keep them, no matter the holes and how they broke down. He shuffled into the kitchen, turned on the light and made half a pot of coffee. Grabbing his mug and a pack of Pop-Tarts, he walked over to the couch.

He set down the items on the coffee table and then grabbed his laptop, turned on the lights behind the couch, and sat down with a sigh. He opened the laptop and waited for it to turn on. He ripped open the foil package and took out a Pop-Tart, shoving it in his mouth, chewing as the screen asked for his password.

Typing it in, he waited for it to continue waking up, as he took a drink of coffee and set down his mug, shoving another huge bite in his mouth. He looked toward the stairs and thankfully heard nothing. Good.

Since Scully had been going to her baby yoga class, he had begun working on the idea that had come to him as he rocked Faith to sleep.

A history of their past on paper, or more appropriately, into a Google document to tell Faith when she was older.

Twice a week, for the past month, for a few hours during the day, he sat at his laptop and wrote a journal to his daughter so that she would know what her parents had done in their lives- before. Before they became this little trio, with a hope that one day, the missing piece to their family quarter would return.

He was almost at a point where he could show Scully what he had written. He had gotten up for the past couple of nights, needing some extra time to write down his thoughts. Being up when it was quiet, he felt calm as he reread what he wrote, adding to what he had and taking out parts that were too intense.

He scrolled the mouse across the screen and opened the ever-expanding document that he had been working on, skimming it. When he started, he simply wrote whatever came to mind. Not surprisingly, he started with a funny case. One that was truly one of his favorites: Daryl Mootz, the "Rain King" of Kroner, Kansas.

"_Beyond the case and the belief that one man was controlling the weather and profiting off it no less, my sweet girl, there was a love story I had not anticipated. It had not been Daryl controlling the weather at all but a quiet, unassuming Holman Hardt._

_Years of his unknown and thus unrequited love for Sheila had led to strange weather phenomena throughout the town. When I figured it out, Holman had asked for my advice and the best way to talk to Sheila. You read that right, honey, your old dad had been asked for dating advice. He said he had seen the way I gazed at Mama, so I must have some good advice to give. Well, I made a point to deny that, of course, I did not gaze at her._

_By the time you read this, Faith, you will know that was a lie. I could not and I still cannot help but gaze at your Mama. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Besides her beauty though, she is the smartest person I know. Her intelligence amazes me every day. How could I not be expected to gaze at someone like her?"_

He sat forward, took a drink of coffee and set down the mug. Looking back at the story, marveling again at the love he found within. Holman and Sheila and him and Scully. He remembered how they had been mistaken for a married couple on separate occasions with Scully sighing and bristling, which he found hilarious. Watching her roll her eyes and sigh, made him laugh and make jokes, loving the look on her face.

"_Little girl, during that case, I know I was guilty of looking at her the way Holman had suggested, but he only saw the surface. He saw that I gazed at her, but he did not see that I longed for her. She was there, right beside me every day, but not the way I wanted. I was terrified to tell her how I truly felt, worried she would not feel the same or leave me because it was unprofessional to have those feelings. I very casually and cavalierly told Holman to take a leap, but I did not have the courage to do the same. I was a chicken, no denying it. But, my love, somehow I knew it would have been a disaster and not the right time for us."_

Pausing in his reading, he remembered Holman's parting words, "You should try it sometime." Well, he thought with a smile, it took a while, but when he had finally taken that leap, and kissed her the first time, it had been well worth the wait.

Taking another drink of coffee, he moved onto the next story. A supposed vampire attack in Chaney, Texas.

"_Sitting in our office, seeing Mama arrive at work, our meeting with Uncle Walter imminent, I had been … we can just call it "on edge." The family of Ronnie Strickland were considering suing the bureau for $446 million, we had the possibility of jail time hanging over us both, and all because I had, as Mama put it, "overreacted." Faith, I knew I had to do what I did. I was right. Ronnie was a vampire. I had to put a stake through his heart because that is the only way to kill a vampire._

_Still, while we both sat in the office, our meeting growing ever closer, I wanted to be sure that we both had seen what the other had seen. That we were on the same page._

_Well, by now, you have a good grasp on who your mother and I are, and you know we can definitely disagree and not see things the same way. We each told what we remembered, and, well, we may have over exaggerated the other's part in the story. Mama painted me as more exuberant, and I painted her as less. It was … well, it was interesting._

_But, while we had varied versions of the same experience, we were on the same page when it was most important. Our stories eventually corroborated the other. There had been vampires in that little town and Ronnie Strickland had been one of them. I saw that before and even more so after we went back to Chaney._

_Why did we need to go back, I hear you_ _asking. Oh, because Ronnie came back to life. The coroner was attacked when he removed the stake I had put in his chest._

_Amateurs, am I right? They clearly had never seen any of the literally thousands of vampire films or read any books about it either._

_When we went back to investigate, we separated to check on different leads. Both of us were drugged and left where we had fallen, giving them time to pull up stakes, and get the heck out of Dodge- er Chaney. We never found them. All of them left, even Sheriff Hartwell, whom your Mama will swear was handsome and did not have buck teeth. We know the truth though, my love. We know."_

He smiled, knowing that when the day came, and Faith mentioned the story of Ronnie and Sheriff Hartwell, she would be on his side. Team Buck Teeth all the way. He was not whispering it to her every night just for fun.

He continued to skim down the page and his eye landed on a different story. His stomach clenched when he looked at it. Padgett, Naciamento, and the milagro. He had almost lost Scully. Reading it again, he debated whether to keep it in the journal but then nodded. She needed to hear the bad with the good.

Instead of focusing on the gory parts, he chose to tell Faith about his own feelings and thoughts. His fear, curiosity, and worries.

"_Faith, one day I will expand on this story. One day, if she wants to tell you, Mama will also explain it in more detail and give you her account of how she felt. For now, you will have a few paragraphs from me._

_This case was hard on both of us. The man who was eventually found to have caused the hurt of others lived next to me in my old apartment. He was a writer and had purposely moved there to observe Mama and see who she was as a person. He wrote a book about her, or more accurately, who he wanted her to be. He may have thought he knew her, but he was mistaken. He knew what he may have seen, but she is so much more than what was observed._

_He wrote beautiful words that described her, I will not deny that, but I never needed fancy words to know of your mother's beauty. She radiated it everywhere she went. No makeup, soaking wet, covered in dirt or some other substance, she was always beautiful because she was her._

_During the course of this case, I grew worried about your Mama. Now, I know she can take care of herself, but I also know her, and I saw how she was affected. She covered it at times, but I saw. I became protective and angry. I wanted to hurt this man who seemed so brazen in his watching of her. He was not aware that his words, while flattering, made her uncomfortable. He was so drawn to what he wanted to happen that he failed to actually see her._

_When he did ... when he was no longer close to us, he said as much. He admitted that he had made a mistake. He finally saw that she was not in love with him, as he had hoped, but with someone else. Honey, I cannot lie to you, hearing those words from him was like ice in my veins and made me freeze where I stood. My heart pounded so hard in my chest at the thought it could be me he was talking about, I was sure everyone could hear it. This man wrote fiction, terrible fiction, without a doubt, but … I wanted those words to be true, and I wanted them to be about me._

_Faith, on that same day, I almost lost your Mama. Had it not been for a decision made by the writer, your Mama would have been gone and far away._

_She was hurt, Faith. Badly hurt. I found her on my apartment floor, not sure if she was breathing, but then she woke up. She was scared and reached for me, pulling me close to her. I could feel her fingers digging into my neck, not letting go of me, and I held her as tightly as I could. I was terrified that I had lost her and there was no chance that I was going to let her go. If I could have held her forever, I would have."_

He sighed as he leaned his head against the couch and closed his eyes. After everything they had been through, seeing her soaked in her own blood from a wound that he could not find terrified him. Her deep red, pungent blood stuck to his clothes and pooled on his floor. It was a memory that would be burned into his brain forever. He loved her, and he almost lost her again. Yet, even as he held her, he said nothing.

Opening his eyes, he sighed again. Mistakes and fears in the past could not be changed, but they could be learned from. He had been learning, and he would continue to do so. To evolve, as he told Scully they needed to do. He glanced at the computer again and groaned when his eyes landed on another one that made his stomach clench.

Robert Patrick Modell.

"_Faith, my girl, this is another one we can talk about in more detail one day. There are parts of this case that remain delicate and should be treated as such. I will tell you that this person came into our lives twice and each time, your Mama was stronger than I ever could be._

_Modell was able to put the whammy on people. That is a reference that you will not understand (it is so old) and one that will make your Mama roll her eyes. However, it does adequately describe what he could do to people._

_Somehow, he had the ability to make people do what he wanted and make them think a certain way. He got inside of their minds and controlled them. We saw it happen before our eyes. It was equal parts terrifying and intriguing. How was anyone able to do that to a person?_

_He focused in on me, calling me out and demanding my attention. He was ill and at a hospital, and I decided that it would be best to face him on my own to reduce the risk of others (including your Mama) being in harm's way._

_Your Mama and I, we are a team, and always will be. (Even if I sneak you cookies when she is not watching.) We were a team then, but I walked into the hospital where Modell was on my own. I gave him what he wanted, and I left my teammate behind, believing she was safer there than by my side. What an idiot I was sometimes._

_Faith, you need to understand something about your Daddy. I was a bit more impulsive than I am now. Daddy in the past did not always pause and take ten seconds to count, a breath to cool down, or a walk to try and recenter my thoughts. No, I was impulsive. If I saw a big button, I had to push it. If a sign said not to enter, well, that was an open invitation to climb the fence and walk in. Your Mama, on the other hand, has always been the cool head trying to steer me in the right direction._

_Understanding that, of course, Mama had come in to help me. She walked into the room where I was in trouble, and she never wavered. Never, until I went too far and scared her and made her cry. Faith, seeing your Mama cry has always broken my heart, and that day was no exception. Her tears and the look on her face, reached me more than anything else ever could. Knowing I was the cause of her pain, I had to stop it, but I needed her to help me. As a team, we helped each other and stopped the bad guy. We won that day."_

He shut the computer down, leaving it on his lap, put his feet on the coffee table, crossed his arms, and leaned his head back again. He shook his head as he thought of Scully's face, her blue eyes full of tears, her words finally reaching him, from so far away. Her safety, in that case, had been what he worried about most, and he would be damned if he was the cause of her suffering or her possible death.

When he heard a soft, light noise, his eyes flew open. Scully was standing at the bottom of the stairs, apparently having bypassed the creaky stair just as he had done several hours ago. She stared at him and he at her.

Her eyes were sleepy, her hair mussed. She was wearing one of his long-sleeved shirts and an old pair of pajama shorts. She walked over to him, moved the laptop to the coffee table and climbed in his lap. Her arms went around his waist, her chest flush against his as his hands went around her back and into her hair. She sighed and burrowed deeper into him.

"Come back to bed, Mulder," she said sleepily.

He chuckled lightly and ran his fingers through her hair. "Five more minutes," he whispered with a smile, seeing if she would remember.

"_Five_ minutes," she said sternly.

He laughed again, and she breathed a laugh against his neck. He knew she was thinking of the same memory.

_Arriving home from California after that horrible movie premiere, they came to his apartment. She walked in and sat on the couch with a huge sigh. He looked at her, and she patted the spot next to her. She sat forward, and took off her boots as he sat down. She scooted around and laid down on the couch, putting her feet in his lap. Smiling at her, he reached out and began to rub her feet, causing her to sigh and close her eyes._

_"We should get some food, but I can't fathom getting off this couch and putting my shoes back on," she said in a tired voice. He laughed softly and kept rubbing her feet._

_"We could order in," he said, tickling her feet and making her giggle. "What sounds good?"_

_"Chinese," she said, attempting to pull her feet back as he grabbed them and held them still. She looked at him and he nodded._

_He got off the couch and picked up his phone, ordering their usual from Ling Palace, adding an extra side of egg rolls as Scully whispered loudly for them in the background. Hanging up, he sat back down and put her feet in his lap again. He rubbed them, and she sighed._

_His hands moved further up her legs, rubbing her calves and listening to her moan and breathe his name as he worked. He ran_ _his nails across her shins causing her to jump and scramble up into his lap. When her arms had gone around his neck and her lips had fallen onto his, his hands pulled her closer while his lips moved to her neck. She threw her head back and dug her nails into his scalp, his name falling from her lips as she fell further into his lap._

_"How long did they say before the food would be here?" she asked breathlessly. He chuckled, his tongue trailing up her neck to her ear. He kissed his way across her jaw, landing on her lips, their tongues meeting in a slow kiss. Her hands went his hair, rocking her hips into him, both of them groaning._

_"Too soon," he murmured against her lips, before kissing her again, his hands coming to rest in her hair. They sat there, kissing and whispering to one another, waiting for the knock on the door, and the arrival of their dinner._

_When they heard it, Scully kissed him once more and climbed off his lap. She glanced down at his crotch, and smirked at him, seeing he was in no condition to answer the door and held out her hand. He raised his eyebrows and she smiled._

_"I need your wallet," she said, snapping her fingers. "I spent the last of my cash buying that set of California magnets you just "had to have." He laughed and leaned up to grab it from his back pocket and handed it to her. He watched her __walk to the door, staring at her in her socked feet, feeling content._

_Being here with her like this on the couch in the quiet, kissing her the way he had wanted to for years, he felt happy and peaceful. The door shut and Scully walked back toward him with the meal they were about to share. Once again, he felt those words he wanted to tell her bubbling up and threatening to spill out. She set the bag down and smiled at him._

_"Plates? Or just out of the containers?" she asked him._

_"Containers are fine," he said, opening the bag and taking out the food. She went into the kitchen and came back with two glasses of water and two forks. She set them down as she sat next to him and reached for a container. He picked one up, and for a few minutes, they were both quiet, swapping containers between them as they reached for egg rolls._

_With dinner finished, they settled back into the couch. She moved a bit and leaned her head on his shoulder so that his arm could come to rest around her. She took a deep breath as he leaned his head against hers. Wrapping her arm around his waist, she moved to accommodate him as he leaned over, allowing for them to lay side-by-side on the couch with their arms wrapped tightly around the other._

_She kissed his neck and then nuzzled into his embrace, her breath warm against his skin. He closed his eyes, feeling her arms around his waist. Her nails scratched lightly at his back, though not in a sexual manner. He smiled, and they both lay quietly. Her breathing began to even out as he ran his fingers in her hair._

_"I need to get home," she said in a low sleepy voice. "Back to work tomorrow. I have things to do there." She sighed and snuggled closer to him._

_"Stay, Scully," he whispered to her. "Stay here with me."_

_"Okay," she agreed quickly and softly. "But, we should move to the bedroom, so that we can get a good night's sleep, change out of these pants, and get more comfortable."_

_"Mmm-hmmm. Five more minutes, Scully," he said sleepily, kissing her forehead. She echoed his words, but those five minutes turned into an hour, and an hour into a couple more._

_She woke first and kissed him awake. Getting off the __couch, they stretched and stumbled into his room together. They both undressed, climbing into bed in their underwear, immediately reaching for one another again. Whispering good night, they fell asleep, embracing for one more night before the real world came knocking._

"Five minutes, Scully," he whispered and she hummed out her skeptical response, as he smiled.

"Time's ticking," she whispered and he laughed.

Five more minutes. Ten. A lifetime. Whatever he got, he would be happy, as long as she was with him.


	4. Memories of the Beginning

"It's been five minutes, Mulder," Scully murmured as he laughed softly. He took a deep breath and then shifted, causing her to sit up on his lap.

He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, pulling her down for a kiss. Leaning back, he nodded at her, and she climbed off his lap. He stood up too, stretching his muscles as he did. She walked into the kitchen, got a drink of water, and then turned off the light before walking back towards him.

He turned off the remaining lights while she waited for him at the bottom of the stairs. When she reached for his hand, he surprised her and pulled her in for a hug. She sighed before he let her go. Stepping back, she looked at him and smiled before walking up the stairs.

He followed close behind as they both stepped into Faith's room to check on her, finding her still sleeping soundly. Scully squeezed his hand and glanced up at him as she tiptoed from the room. Smiling at her, he closed the door halfway and followed Scully into their room, shutting the door behind him.

When she got into bed, he walked to the other side and joined her. As he laid down, the rain that had been indecisive all day began to fall. He smiled as he heard it, his mind still in the memories of the past. How many rainy nights had they endured, shared, and enjoyed? Rain seemed to be their weather.

Scully moved close to him and put her head on his chest. He lifted his arm, allowing her to snuggle closer. "Hmm. What were you doing downstairs, Mulder? Why were you up with coffee and a snack?" she asked. He could hear the concern in her voice as he stroked her hair and basked in the feel of her breath moving across his chest.

"Mulder?"

"Nothing nefarious, I promise," he said with a slight laugh. She did not join in, and he sighed.

"Were you watching porn?"

"Porn?! Seriously, Scully? You think I got out of bed, a bed in which you're laying in, to watch porn?" he asked her incredulously. "Do you really think I would …"

He stopped talking as she lifted her head and stared at him. "Oh. You're fucking with me?" he said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Seriously?" She grinned and put her head back on his chest, laughing as she did. He shook his head, and they were both quiet, the rain louder as they lay there.

"Mulder. What were you doing?" she asked again, and he sighed.

"I … well I suppose the aliens are out of the spaceship now," he said, and she laughed against him. He smiled and rubbed his hand up and down her arm. "It was supposed to be a surprise but … I've been working on something for Faith."

"For Faith?"

"Mmm-hmm. You know I tell her stories of our past and the cases we've worked on. Well, I thought I would write them down. Not exactly the cases themselves point-by-point, but more of a journal of my own feelings and experiences during the cases," he said, as lightning flashed and illuminated the room.

"Oh God, please not thunder," she groaned. "Last time it woke her up, and she couldn't get back to sleep." She buried her head in his chest, and they waited. Thunder sounded, far away, not yet a threat. They were quiet for a couple of minutes, the rain beginning to fall harder.

"A journal for Faith, huh?" she said quietly. "I love that idea, Mulder." She raised her head and looked at him, her chin resting on his chest. "Can I read it?" He smiled at her and stroked her face, another flash of lightning shining through the windows.

"Tomorrow," he said with a smile. She nodded and put her head back on his chest. She did not speak for so long, he thought she had gone to sleep.

"What have you included in it so far?" she asked him, as the thunder rumbled closer. He smiled knowing the thought of it and needing to wait to read it would pique her interest.

"So many different cases," he said teasingly, and she pinched his side, causing him to jump as she laughed and he swore. "Tomorrow you can read it, Scully, just be patient."

"Mulder …" she whined.

"Okay," he said, pulling her close. "Well, as I said, you know I've been telling Faith stories. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I realized I had started it all ass backwards. I told her about Puerto Rico, the Flukeman …"

"Mulder! You didn't," she groaned.

"Scully, she can't understand what I'm saying, no matter the topic. It's my tone and my voice itself," he stated matter-of-factly. "Now shush, and let me speak. When I was rocking her recently, I was trying to think of which story to tell her, and I realized I'd missed the most important one. I hadn't told her about the day we met. She fell asleep before I could tell her what I really wanted to say. But even if she hadn't, she still doesn't truly understand me, not yet. So, I began to formulate a plan. When you went to the first yoga class, I started writing it, and I've been working on it since. It's definitely not finished because I have a lot to say, and I can sometimes go off on a tangent," he stopped talking as she snorted and then apologized with laughter in her voice. "Hmmm. Well anyway, you can read it tomorrow. Okay?"

She sighed and lay still as the thunder cracked closer and they both listened, hoping it did not wake Faith. No sound came from her room, and they both breathed a sigh of relief.

"So … tell me one at least," she said, putting a leg over his, snuggling closer.

He chuckled and nodded. "One, and then you will have to wait," he agreed and cleared his throat. "The beginning: our origin story, by Fox Mulder. We open on …"

"Oh sweet Jesus," she said as she tried to pull away from him and turn over. He laughed and brought her back into his arms, her head shaking back and forth against his chest. "You're a shit, you know that?" her words harsh, but her tone teasing.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, still laughing. "Okay, I'll be serious now. I told her about our first meeting, how I saw you and what I thought when you stood there in my office, fresh-faced and so goddamn beautiful. How your intellect just left me wanting to know more. You were so much more than any other partner I'd had, and I was both happy and annoyed. I didn't want to like you. I wanted you to be annoyed enough to want to leave, so that I could get back to being a pariah and do my work alone. But, Jesus Scully, you were the exact opposite of all of that. You didn't agree with me per se, but you listened, you investigated, you didn't laugh."

She raised her head again and gave him "the look" and he smiled back at her. "Well, not a lot and not when it would have been harmful to the case." She put her head back on his chest after smirking at him, as the thunder rumbled again.

"Well, I told Faith that part the other day, but now I've also written it down. What I didn't get to say before she fell asleep, well," he chuckled softly and then sighed. "You coming to my motel room, Scully … that was the turning point for me, I know you know that already, but as I was writing, there were moments I'd forgotten about. The darkness of the room, the smell of the rain on the ground, the color of your robe, the way the candlelight bounced off the walls." He stopped speaking, remembering it all again. She ran her fingers lightly across his stomach, a silent plea to continue.

"You coming to me, Scully," he said as he began to stroke her hair, eliciting a low moan from her. "Quite literally baring yourself to me ... it shocked me. I was frozen in place, unsure of how to proceed. But the fear I heard in your voice when you spoke superseded any concerns I had. I had to help calm your fears. Yes, I was aroused by the sight of you in your underwear, I have never denied that ... not since I could," he said, interrupting her before she could say he had denied it in the past. "I couldn't tell you before we were, well us, because it made me sound pervy. There you were, scared enough to disrobe in front of basically a stranger, and all I saw was a beautiful woman in her underwear? I mean I did see that, of course, but come on, how could I say that without sounding completely gross?" She laughed quietly, and he smiled, his fingers still trailing through her hair.

"When you had collapsed against me, relieved and shaking, it changed something for me. It wasn't that I no longer thought about you being in your underwear, but now I just wanted to protect you, make sure you were safe. I knelt down next to you and held your hand until you stopped shaking. I forgot about that until I was writing it down," he said softly.

"I never have," she whispered. "That was the moment for me, Mulder, when I knew I could trust you. You didn't tease me for being scared of those mosquito bites, or for coming to your room in my state of undress. You held my hand and then took an extra blanket from the closet and wrapped it around me, staying quiet and allowing me to tell you when I was ready. You offered me your bed, nothing in your demeanor to suggest anything besides wanting me to be comfortable and cared for. I never felt worried that it was weird and definitely not within the parameters of male and female agents being in the same motel room. Do you want to know why I wasn't, more than anything else?" He stopped his fingers and waited for her to speak again.

She moved until she was up on her elbow and facing him. Smiling at him, he saw her eyes fill with tears and hoped they were happy tears. He had not wanted to make her cry with his words, that had not been his intention.

"When I stood up from the chair, you took the blanket from me and walked next to me to the bed. I laid down, and you covered me up. Mulder, you didn't say anything, but you took the task seriously. When you were done, you looked at me, and I saw it. I saw you," she said, staring in his eyes, her tears spilling over. "That night, your care for me ... the way you simply looked at me, gave me butterflies in my stomach. You made sure I was okay and then sat on the floor. I didn't ask you to do that, you could have sat on the bed, but you didn't. You put me first, Mulder. Just as you were a stranger to me, I was to you. You could have told me to leave, the crisis had passed, but you didn't. You kept me with you and shared your past, your fears. You put me at ease and allowed me to get to know you. That's who you are, Mulder. Yes, you can drive me crazy, make me roll my eyes or sigh in frustration, but you also fill my heart with so much love that it borders on ridiculous." He smiled at her and wiped her tears, feeling tears in his own eyes.

She bent her head and kissed him, her hand on his heart. Pulling back, she smiled through her tears. The lightning flashed as she sat back, took off her shirt, and kissed him again. He rolled her onto her back and her legs wrapped loosely around him. He stared down at her, before kissing her again.

Their clothes landed where they were absentmindedly tossed as they kissed and touched, the rain beating against the windows. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed, but they paid it no mind. He kissed her skin, breathing in her scent, his fingers grazing where his mouth could not reach.

Her fingers roamed up and down his back, her nails joining in and making him moan into her mouth. His fingers ghosted across her back as he pulled her to her side, touching the spot where the long lost mosquito bites had been, tracing three circles against her skin. She smiled and kissed him, reaching down to guide him inside her, as she put a leg over his hip.

Quietly, staring in each other's eyes, they made love. Her eyes closed when her pleasure became too overwhelming, her nails digging into his skin as she grew closer to the edge. He put his mouth to her ear and whispered how much he loved her, how thankful he was to have her in his life, how much he cherished her. She broke over her crest with a quiet cry and he followed not long after.

The rain fell harder than before as they lay together, their breathing fast and hearts racing. He kissed her forehead and she hummed, still trying to catch her breath. Thunder crashed and lightning flashed as the rain poured down.

"_We lost what?" Scully shouted at him over the sound of the rain falling around them._

_"Nine minutes. I looked at my watch just before the flash and it was 9:03. It just turned 9:13! Look! Look!" He showed her the "X" he had spray painted on the road earlier. "Oh, yes! Abductees ... people who have made UFO sightings, they've reported unexplained time loss."_

_"Come on," Scully said in disbelief._

_"Gone! Just like that." He said, his excitement evident in his eyes._

_"No, wait a minute. You're saying that, that time disappeared. Time can't just disappear, it's, it's, it's a universal invariant!" Scully yelled back at him._

_"Not in this zip code," he said as the car started on its own._

Shifting in his arms, Scully broke their connection, tearing him away from his thoughts. When she had settled into a comfortable position, he chuckled softly. She moved her head back and looked at him, raising her eyebrows.

"Just thinking that rain seems to be _our_ weather," he said, looking in her eyes. "It makes me think of the past. Forests, car rides, nights like this when holding you or making love to you is the only thing I want to do." She hummed again and snuggled in closer, kissing his neck as she did.

"I was also thinking about that day on my couch when we were downstairs. The origin of our five more minutes ... I wish I had said then what was on my mind and not been such a chicken shit. So many times, actually ... but that time specifically. I wish I had told you then that I loved you. The whole time we were in California at that stupid premiere, it sat on the tip of my tongue, but I never said it."

"Oh, Mulder," she said, pulling back to look in his eyes. "You didn't need to tell me. Saying I love you isn't love. It's showing it every day and how you are with the person you care about. It's wonderful to hear it, to have it vocalized, but I knew you did. Way before that stupid movie and the time we spent in California. You display your emotions for everyone to see, Mulder. As I've already mentioned, your eyes, touch, and treatment of others, it shines through more than any words you could ever say. So after all that time, how could I not know? Especially when you displayed it on our first case?" She smiled at him, touching his face with one hand, the other on his chest just above his heart.

He smiled at her, her eyes so beautiful and open as he ran his fingers across her face. "Maybe they do. Maybe my actions do speak louder than words, but I want my words to be heard too. I love you, Scully. So much more than you could ever know." He ran his thumb across her lips and she kissed it, smiling behind it.

"You're wrong about that, Mulder. I do know how much you love me. I do," she stared at him and smiled, as he looked in her eyes. "I love you too. More than I've ever loved anyone in my life. More than I ever thought it was even possible to love someone." He smiled and kissed her softly, then pulled her closer.

"We should get some sleep," he said quietly. "It's late and that little girl in the next room doesn't understand letting people sleep in, especially when they've been up in the middle of the night writing, talking, and enjoying naked time." Scully laughed, and he kissed her temple. One hand burrowed in her hair, the other stroking the soft warm naked skin of her back.

She snuggled in closer, her breasts against his chest, the fingers of one hand rubbing his neck, her other trailing across his hip. She sighed with a hum, her lips at his throat.

He kissed her temple once more, closed his eyes and let the warmth and softness of her body pull him to sleep, as the rain continued to fall.


	5. Poetry of the Soul

The warm spring air blew gently as Scully sat on the porch swing with Mulder's laptop resting across her knees. Words from the journal he had been working on covered the expanse of the screen in front of her, but she was finding it hard to read them through her tears.

An hour earlier, upon arriving home from the baby yoga class, she found Mulder sitting on the porch swing with his laptop beside him. He stood and smiled when she pulled up, stretching his arms over his head. His shirt rose up giving her a quick view of his stomach, something she always enjoyed seeing. After stretching, he came down the steps to greet her and take Faith from her car seat.

"She needs to eat," Scully told him as he opened the door and unbuckled Faith. "She fell asleep at the end of class, and I didn't want to wake her. Now, I wish I would have because my breasts are aching, and I'm sure she's going to start demanding her lunch soon." She grabbed her things out of the car and shut the door, walking up the steps ahead of Mulder.

Setting everything on the porch, she heard Mulder talking to Faith and it warmed her heart. Turning around, she watched him nuzzling at her neck, and she smiled. He caught her watching him and grinned. Stepping up onto the top step, he handed her over, kissing Scully quickly on the lips. She smiled at him as Faith started whimpering and turning toward her chest.

"Yes, my love, I know," Scully said quietly, stepping toward the swing and sitting down. She lifted her shirt and opened her nursing bra, situating Faith to nurse. She did not need much coaxing, turning toward the food source instantly, hungry and ready to eat. She latched on and begin to nurse, causing Scully to close her eyes and sigh with relief.

She opened her eyes when she heard Mulder shifting around on the porch. Shaking her head, she sighed again. "I can't describe to you the relief I feel when she latches on when my breasts are so full." She looked down at Faith and smiled, watching her eat, her eyes closed as she did.

"Scully, come on," he said, breaking into her thoughts and causing her to look up at him. "It's not fair to talk about your breasts when they're out and naked, yet wholly unavailable to my touch."

"They were available to your touch last night if I remember correctly," she said with a smirk. "To which, you took full advantage."She winked at him as he crossed his arms and leaned against the side of the porch. She looked down at Faith again, undoubtedly feeling the same sense of contentment as Scully, as the wind blew gently around them.

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes and sighed. She felt Mulder sit next to her on the swing and moved her head to rest on his shoulder. "How was the last day?" he asked her quietly. She raised her head and opened her eyes, turning her head to look at him. He raised his eyebrows at her, and she sighed.

"You signed up for another month of classes, didn't you?" he said with a smile.

"I did," she said sheepishly, and his smile grew wider.

"Good," he nodded. She sighed, placing her head on his shoulder once again. They sat quietly. The only sound around them was that of Faith nursing, and her symphony of happy baby noises.

Switching to the other breast, Mulder was able to touch Faith's head and stroke her soft dark hair. Recently, they had been sitting on a blanket in the yard. The sun shining down had highlighted her hair and red had shone through, bringing a smile to Mulder's face. Lifting Faith, he had told her again how beautiful she was and how much he loved her.

"When she's finished, I'll take her. I'm going to go inside and get you a cup of tea and a couple of those shortbread cookies for enjoy as you read. As promised, I have the journal ready for you to read, so sit here and just relax," he said as he stood to gather the items he had mentioned. She nodded, smiling as she stared at him. He leaned forward and again kissed her lightly on the lips before walking inside.

"My girl," she said, looking down at Faith after she watched Mulder walk away. "We are two very lucky women to have a man like your Daddy in our lives. He will drive you crazy. Yes, my love, he will. But you will also never find someone who loves you more than he does. On this, I am certain. One day, the person for you will come along, and you will know it's the perfect one because of the love bestowed upon you by your father. He will have paved the way for you to recognize how a person should be loved. It's the simple things that your Daddy does that shows his love - a cup of tea, a blanket when you're chilly, a simple touch of his hand, his eyes on you as you speak, the smile he gives you- anytime, and his undivided attention. Faith, you are already so loved by him. The two of you are going to be thick as thieves and best friends." Faith, entranced by her mother's words, unlatched from her breast and stared up at her, her big blue eyes searching before she gave her a huge smile. Scully smiled back and moved her to her shoulder to burp her, covering herself up as she did.

"Yes, you two are going to be the best of friends," she whispered as she patted Faith's tiny back, and kissed her sweet smelling neck.

The screen door creaked as Mulder stepped out, a tray in his hands. She raised her eyebrows at him and he shrugged, carefully setting the tray down beside her. He placed his hand on Faith's back and kissed her head. Scully smiled as she watched them, the best of friends already.

He glanced at her, and she nodded. Taking Faith from her, he murmured to her and bounced her lightly in his arms. Learning the hard way, he knew that bouncing her too much led to a milk-covered shirt and face. Scully tried to hide a smile at the memory of his surprised look when the vomit hit him.

"Not too much bouncing, I know," he said looking at her. "Believe me, I don't want that to happen again." Scully laughed, and he smiled at her.

"Okay, I've got her, you're all set up with tea, a snack, and the laptop. Squatch and I will head inside, have some tummy time, a diaper change, and maybe chew on something to soothe those aching gums. Does that sound good, my sweet?" he said, holding Faith from him to look at her. She grinned her toothless grin and laughed, causing Mulder to look over at Scully and grin.

"God, I love hearing that laugh, little one. Okay, let's give Mama some space," he moved her to the crook of his arm and walked close to Scully. "Take your time, there's a lot in there." She put her hands on his face and leaned up for a kiss. He kissed her softly and stepped back, waving Faith's hand at her as he walked into the house. She heard muffled music begin to play, and she smiled.

Taking a breath, she picked up her cup of tea and took a sip. Sighing as she tasted it, exactly as she liked. Such a good man. She picked up a chocolate covered shortbread cookie and took a bite, closing her eyes as she enjoyed her treat.

Grabbing the laptop, she opened it and typed in his password, finding the document already open. She smiled at the title he had chosen and put front and center- Stories for Squatch. Even better were the words under it in parentheses- open to other titles. Shaking her head, she began to read the words he had written.

"_My girl, my Squatchy, my Faith-_

_I have decided to write this journal/story/diary for you to preserve the past and be prepared for the future. You will one day have questions, so many questions, as my DNA runs through your veins. I want to be prepared for that day and not stand there with a stunned look on my face. So, get ready, this is going to be a wild ride. It will not be in any order, except for the beginning. We need to start where it began."_

Scully smiled and settled back in the cushions of the porch swing. She read what he told her last night, how he saw her when she walked in the office, his confusion over his want for her to leave but also his desire her to stay.

"_Faith, I was so confused how I felt about your Mama. Not as a woman, but as a partner. I already said that I did not want a new partner, because they slowed me down with their inane questions, but your mother was different. She did not slow me down, she sped me up._

_That first case together, we had what I thought was proof of an extraterrestrial, and I flew around the autopsy room in my excitement. I was snapping pictures, determined that it was an alien, but your Mama's cool head and scientific mind kept me grounded. While it may have deflated me a little, it also halted the wildness from getting out of control. She kept me down to earth and not looking and chasing after lights in the sky, about to run off a cliff."_

Scully wiped tears from her eyes as she read his words. There was so much beauty in what he was saying. Mulder had a way with words she knew that, but to read them about their partnership, in a letter to their daughter affected her in a different way.

She smiled as she saw an added portion labeled with an asterisk. It was what she had told him last night regarding her memories of that night in the motel room. He had written down what she said almost verbatim. Bless him and his eidetic memory.

She laughed as she read about Kroner, Kansas and Chaney, Texas, but she made a mental note to begin whispering Team No Buck Teeth to Faith as she held her. No chance was she going to let him tip the scales in his favor and not say something about it.

Seeing the words The Falls at Arcadia she grinned, remembering her own feelings and thoughts from that case. She had enjoyed being with him every day, and while she acted like she did not like his constant touching of her, she did. Yes, he had gone overboard with it, but it felt wonderful to be held, even if she was simply playing a part. Looking at the screen, she began to read his words.

"_Okay, little one, let me tell you about this case. It was probably the most fun I've had while on an assignment. Well, that was before your Mama and I … well, anyway. We had to go undercover and pose as a married couple to figure out what was happening in a hoity-toity neighborhood. Your Mama was not so pleased, but oh honey, I was thrilled._

_We were staying in a huge house that, I am sorry my love, we will never live in, not ever ... Four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, an office, and a big backyard. While nice, it was not a place I would ever feel comfortable. Too many rules to follow for your dear old dad. But, I was not really as concerned about that as I was about the case. We were there to work._

_Work yes, but what I liked most about this case, was spending time with your Mama. She and I were close, of course, but this was different. We were together day and night, and I loved it._

_The first night we were there, we had to set up the house, not knowing how long we would be there. Putting the bed frame together, making the bed, unpacking things we would need, it felt like we were really moving in together. Later, when we had done enough for one night, we made a meal together from the groceries provided. It was just spaghetti, but it was good and we enjoyed each other's company as we ate._

_After we ate and cleaned up, we were tired and ready to sleep. Mama took the main bedroom and the bed, while I stayed on the couch, but we did share the master bathroom. I stood and watched as Mama took off her makeup, washed her face, and brushed her teeth. I cannot recollect what any of our discussions were about, but I do remember the way your Mama would smile at me, and the way I felt when she did._

_I left the bedroom that night, went down to the living room, sat on the couch, and thought about the day and how it felt pretending to be a couple. It was fun, but it was fake, and I wanted the real thing._

_It would not be for a while, but I discovered what it was like to really live with your Mama. To spend my days and nights with her. Hearing her laugh, watching her smile, holding her in my arms as well as my heart, was and is the best thing I have done in my life._

_Honey, the pretending case was fun, but it was nothing compared to the real thing. My life has been exponentially better because I have lived it with your Mama."_

Scully wiped her eyes again and shook her head. Reading the words of his love. A love that had been there for so long, filled her stomach with butterflies and her heart with longing. Last night she told him she had known he loved her, even without him saying it, and it had been the truth. Of course, she had known just as he had, but seeing it written down was like poetry.

She took a deep breath and ate another cookie before reading more of the journal, needing a few moments to collect herself. The wind blew again, and she closed her eyes as the swing rocked from it. Mulder's laughter and Faith's answering squeal made her smile and open her eyes. She glanced back at the screen and began to read again.

"_So many cases led us to the woods, whether on purpose or on accident, we often found ourselves in a forest. This particular case we fell upon completely by accident. We were driving on our way to a team building seminar (I know) and had to stop as a search party was in progress. A man had gotten lost, and the local police were looking for him._

_I was ready to do whatever I could to get out of that car and away from that seminar, so I enthusiastically joined the team. The other agents we were driving with, whose names I no longer remember, were gung-ho team spirit type people. I did not fit into the group. Mama stayed behind while they continued on, and we found ourselves in the woods with two other people in our group._

_I need to backtrack for a second and make mention of something, something for your Mama, who will undoubtedly read this. The night before we ventured into the woods, Mama came to my room with cheese and wine since I 'wouldn't be making it to the conference' after all. I was already engrossed in the missing man's case, so I failed to see what was happening. I was an idiot. A complete idiot._

_Not long before this trip, Faith, your Mama was very sick. I … I almost lost her, and I was, well, scared I would lose her again. I was stupid and instead of telling her I loved her, I fell back into our same routine. I kept her at arm's length and made jokes because I was still scared she might leave me and that I would be broken again. I could not fathom that, so I pushed away_ _instead_ _of_ _pulling_ _her_ _towards_ _me_.

_Scully. I was such an idiot. I missed out on wine and cheese with you in a shabby motel room. If I could go back, I would have turned around, taken my jacket off, asked for a glass of wine, and sat down next to you on the bed. I would have asked how you were feeling and if you wanted to actually be on this case. I would have listened to you And if what you wanted was to go to that seminar, I would have booked a flight that night. If I had known, if I had paid attention, I would have done so many things differently."_

Tears falling down her face, she closed the laptop, unable to read anymore. She took a deep breath to calm herself, her mind in the past and the day she had come to his motel room. It was a friendly gesture, but under it, she did have other thoughts on her mind.

Her cancer had stolen so much from her. Some days she had wanted to just scream. Her joy for life had diminished on days when she felt so sick. She had feared that Mulder would think she was unable to keep up, and that had been the last thing she wanted. If he had resented her for it, it would have killed her.

She knew now that it was a silly and misplaced feeling, but in those moments of self-wallowing and worry, it was as real as the next breath she took. On that night, she threw caution to the wind. Asking the motel owner where she could find a nearby store, she had called a cab and picked up the items she would need. Her heart had pounded to the point where she had considered tossing it all together, but for once, she was determined to not chicken out.

Of course it had gone to shit, as it would have at that point in their journey. Neither were truly ready, but she was so sure they would have gotten somewhere. He left, off on the next monster chase at the mere mention of of something unexplained out in the woods. She knew it was wrong to assume he would know what she wanted when she had not verbalized it, but it had not dampened the sense of frustration and rejection she had felt at the time.

She sighed and shook her head, opening her eyes. "Not anymore," she said with a slow smile. After hearing the heartbeat of their second miracle baby for the first time, they had made a promise to each other. No more holding back, no more darkness, and no more monsters.

Moving the laptop beside her, she stood from the swing and walked toward the screen door. She pulled it open carefully, avoiding the creak that would announce her arrival. Mulder had his back to her, swaying to a song playing softly, as he held Faith on his shoulder.

_When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears  
Was easy to see, you'd been crying  
Seems like everywhere you turn, catastrophe it reigns  
But who really profits from the dying?  
I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you forever  
I could hold you in my arms, oh  
I could hold you forever_

He turned, catching sight of her standing there with a smile on her face, and motioned her over. He pulled her to him, one of her arms going around his waist the other on Faith's back, her head on his chest.

_When you kissed my lips, with my mouth so full of questions  
My worried mind, that you quiet  
Place your hands on my face  
Close my eyes and say  
Love is a poor man's food  
With no proper side  
I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you forever  
And I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold you forever_

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," she whispered back, wrapping her arm tighter around him.

_So now we see how it is  
This fist begets the spear  
Weapons of war  
Symptoms of madness  
Don't let your eyes refuse to see  
Don't let your ears refuse to hear  
You ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness  
I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold on forever  
And I could hold you in my arms  
I could hold on forever_

She tilted her head up to look at him and saw his eyes change from happy to concerned. "You've been crying," he said softly, worry in his voice.

"I couldn't stop the tears, Mulder. That journal is beautiful. Faith is going to love it," she said with a smile.

"Did you finish it?" he asked, and she shook her head. "How far?"

"The Mothmen."

"Ah, that makes sense," he said, smiling sadly. She shook her head again, rubbing Faith's back.

"Everything happens for a reason," she said, hoping to convey what she meant by her words and the position of her hands, one on Faith and the other on his bicep. He stared at her, nodding slowly, his smile growing.

She wrapped her arm around him again, her head laying against his chest, as they swayed slowly, a new song beginning to play.

"Just so you know, you should plan on it raining again tonight," she said, lifting her head again. "Sleeping bags."

He looked at her and laughed softly, shaking his head, before pulling her to him again. "I love you," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"No sugar, Sherlock."


End file.
